Deep Inside
by Smokewisp
Summary: In book 5 of Warriors, Snowkit was taken by a hawk. This is his story.
1. Meeting Him

_**I am Snowkit. I was taken from my mother by a hawk. My life was always on the run. Rouges, dogs, traveling. I was torn. Now this is my story.**_

I was being carried by a hawk. It dropped me on the ground as a brown flash attacked it from a tree.

I landed on the soft undergrowth but I looked up, stunned.

A tabby cat was attacking the hawk! I watched from the ground as the hawk dropped a fraction every moment. It wasn't coming down easily.

I squeaked. The tabby tom cat had killed the hawk in front of me. His shoulders were broad and he was massive.

He had large black claws. His scent was yucky, and I wrinkled my nose. I was almost 5 moons old, and I knew my scents.

The cat was a rouge. I flattened my ears, my tiny little claws ready to claw the cat but he looked amused. His amber eyes glittered softly. For a fierce-looking cat, he was pretty kind also.

He hunted for me and sat with me. I couldn't hear him, of course, because I was deaf, but I knew that this cat was the cat for me.

He tried to talk to me, but I could only see his muzzle moving. Then he talked more slowly.

I could read his lips, "I..." I nodded. I would hear my first moon as a kit, but then my hearing faded so I knew certain words.

"Tiger..." I saw him. He looked like a tiger! I nodded vigorously.

Then he showed me his claws.

Tiger...claw...Tigerclaw? His name was Tigerclaw! I grinned. I could actually understand him!

Then I did something I never knew I would do; I stood up, purring. I buried my nose into his pelt. Soft, clean.

Tigerclaw looked shocked as I backed away. It looked as if he had his own kits somewhere because he was acting very kind to me, a strange kit who was attacked by a hawk, also deaf.

Tigerclaw said something else but then he blinked understandingly.

He knew I was deaf. He didn't care that I was deaf. Tigerclaw was amazing.

He was my new friend!

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	2. Tigerclaw's apprentice

Tigerclaw readied his haunches. I watched with interest. He leaped on the sparrow, feathers flew everywhere. It was dead. He put it in front of my paws to share. He meowed something that I couldn't hear. Then he sighed, flicking his tail from me to him, and then to his mouth.

I nodded. He wanted us the share.

We sat, side-by-side, eating the prey. I was suprised about how muscular he was.

Then he mouthed, "Snowkit." I nodded. He prowled across the ground quickly, faking a hunt. Then he pointed to me.

Tigerclaw said, "Train. Train." Over and over until my eyes widened. He wanted to be my mentor!

I nodded vigorously. Tigerclaw dipped his head a fraction to me. Then he said, "Snowpaw. Snowpaw. Snowpaw. Snowpaw."

I blinked. My new name was Snowpaw. He didn't do any kind of ceremony. It was just...some words.

My mother, Speckletail, tried to mentor me, I think, but I thought it was some kind of a game. Did everything have to be serious? I didn't understand. Did cats really die in a fight? I didn't understand anything. I wasn't stupid.

Everything just seemed so scary to me.

Tigerclaw put his tail around my shoulders. I quivered in shock. My life was now on the run. I then understood that it was be quick or die from a patrol or more rouge cats. I was safe in my Clan. Now everything was a blur of how I lived.

Tigerclaw trained me. He fed me. I was now training to hunt and fight. Tigerclaw was my mentor. I wondered why ThunderClan banned him a couple moons ago. I never heard...of course...the true story.

But to me, he seemed like a dream come true...He helped me understand my life and how much I was worth.

Now our training really starts 3 moons later.


	3. Alone

The sunlight beamed down on a rock mountain. A small stoat sniffed, full of hope, in the air. I saw it, there. My first prey, if I caught it, which was very little chance.

I looked back desperately. Tigerclaw signaled for me to go for the kill.

I rocked on my haunches, then I leaped. It was under my paws. It struggled and I killed it with a swift bite.

I turned, proud, at my accomplishment.

Tigerclaw came up to me. He looked proud. His ambers eyes gleamed with pride at his new apprentice.

He said, "Well done." I think I said something, but I don't know what. I think it was "thanks".

I shrugged, taking the prey up in my jaws. We carried it to our badger set home on the edge of WindClan territory.

Tigerclaw looked worried as he mouthed, "Clan..." I trembled. Whatever his message was, it wasn't very good.

He glanced at a shadow. I understood. ShadowClan. What about them?

I signaled for him to continue. He finished. He said, "Join." He pointed to himself.

I felt tears running down my face.

I shook my head. This relationship was already starting! He was my mentor, my best friend, my new father! He couldn't leave me...Not yet...

Tigerclaw put his tail on my shoulder. I brushed it off. I cried, "How could you!" I think he heard me clearly. He stood up, looking sad but angry.

"Please." He motioned.

I cried more, shaking my head.

"Don't!"

Tigerclaw bowed his head. I was furious but horrified. How could he leave me-? The scrap of white fur that he had rescued!

I turned away, crying more. He padded out of the badger home, licking my ear when he went out. I was left there, alone.

I never saw him for a while. I taught myself to hunt. I needed to fight.

At a Gathering one night, I saw him, on a large rock in the middle of four large trees. He was with Firestar, Tallstar, and Leopardstar.

I shook my head, padding away.

He had left me for a Clan. I was warrior age now, 20 moons. I was full grown and I had my own defense and attacking moves to use. I made them up but I tricked a dog with some of my fighting moves last dawn.

A pack of dogs came, tearing through the woods. Many cat bodies were by Sunning Rocks at moon-rise last night.

I woke up, looking around._ I needed to kill_, was the first thought that came into my head.

_I need to kill._ _I'm a rouge, now._


	4. Now a killer

A golden warrior sat on Sunning Rocks, glancing around. His brown eyes shone as his golden-brown fur reflected the setting sun.

Suddenly, his muscles tensed, his fur prickled. He was being stalked, and he smelt his opponent.

He whirled around, but it was too late. A white cat zoomed into view as he bowled the tom over, pinning him down.

"Get off of me-" The tom yowled, trying to claw his evenly matched attacker.

Then the tabby tom squinted, "Snow-Snowkit?"

I growled, baring his fangs, "Snowfang...I'm a warrior."

It was Brackenfur! Then my paws felt weak, my claws ached to sheathe them again. This was Brackenfur, my hopeful mentor when I was in ThunderClan...so, so long ago.

Brackenfur pleaded, "Snowfang! It's me! Don't...You don't know what you're doing! The Clan has been so worried! Your mother hasn't been able to eat or sleep or anything! Come back to us!"

I tensed. What if this was true? What if the Clan really wanted me back? Then my mind went crazy.

The wild wanted me more. It was better being a rouge because you didn't have to follow StarClan or anything. You could be free, if you were quick. You could hunt and eat anything and anytime you wanted!

I hissed, swiping my claws across his throat. He was dead, right there, now, bleeding, at my paws.

I didn't regret it. Even as sickening as it was, I felt...proud. Happy. Care-free.

My eyes turned to slits. I was officially a killer.


	5. Barley and Ravenpaw

I was sick, very sick. I didn't feel very good. I limped across the field. I had dragged myself through WIndClan territory, being unseen and unnoticed. I was lucky. A sick, lucky fool of a cat.

Sun-High went, now it was almost dawn. I saw some big boxes, decorated with plants and there was some sort of dog sitting by it, asleep. I trudged by quietly, but I stepped on a twig that was lying on the pale stone in front of me and the "houses.

The dog's yellow eyes opened. It drooled, standing up. It towered over me.

I didn't move. We glowered at each other for a moment, then I fell. I wasn't strong enough to fight. The dog was huge. I waited to die. Then, a flash of black and white shot past me. It was another cat! Not a Clan cat, it seemed, but not a house cat.

Another black cat attacked the dog. The cats, like brothers, fought side by side. The dog whimpered, scampering back to its tiny wooden den a couple fox-lengths away. I blinked thankfully. The cats were muscular and sleek, but not fat or skinny.

I remember feeling them pick me up, but all other feeling or memory was lost.

I opened my eyes. They were talking, but I didn't know what about.

I started to get up but one of them gently pushed me back down.

They started to talk to me. I just blinked. They both frowned. Then the black one said something, flicking his tail for me to come. I stood up weakly, then sat in front of him.

They both said one word to each other. I know it, the burning anger sensation lit up in my belly again.

"Deaf." That awful word which disabled me to all other things.

The black and white one mouthed, "Barley. Barley. I'm Barley." I heard "Barley" but I didn't think that was his name, so I just call him "Bar" because that's all I could say. He didn't seem to mind much.

The black one's yellow eyes glittered. He flicked his ears to a raven sitting on a hay stack in this barn place.

I nodded.

"Raven." I said. Then he picked up his paw.

"Ravenpaw..." But...he had a Clan name! I frowned.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he curled up in the straw.

I watched Barley eat a mouse he just caught and I knew it was almost dawn, so I fell asleep almost immediately.


	6. StarClan at last

I dreamed that I was running in the forest. I was still in ThunderClan, I dreamed.

I was at Snake Rocks watched the sun go down. My white fur sparkled and my blue eyes sparkled in satisfaction. I had just hunted and caught much prey. Then I felt a sudden pain.

It was like a fiery bee sting. Then I turned around and saw it. A large green snake recoiled. The fangs glittered menacingly and I knew that I had been bitten.

"It's all a dream..." I said to myself. "Nothing happened."

But when my eyes flew open, I felt the bite and I didn't know why.

I looked across the barn and Barley and Ravenpaw were sleeping. My eyes traveled down and the snake was there, but it wasn't big and green. It was tiny and black. My head swam with memories as I fell to the floor again with a thud. I saw Tigerclaw and I moaned, "Why did you leave me?"

Ravenpaw's ears flicked and then he saw me, waking up Barley. They were yelling at each other fervently and I closed my clouded eyes again.

I saw the hawk taking me away. Brackenfur was clinging to the hawk as I was carried away.

"Snowkit!" My mother screeched.

Then I saw Tigerclaw training me.

Brackenfur's dead body was placed in front of me which I had killed.

Was I...dying?

I suddenly snapped out of my daze and I saw a magnificent blue she-cat walk up to me. She was strong and her blue eyes were like sapphires. Her muzzle was streaked with silver.

Stars surrounded me as I awkwardly walked across the clouds.

"B-Bluestar?" I asked softly.

The she-cat smiled.

"Welcome to StarClan."


End file.
